I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
