Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
