dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
