My brain says no but my pants say off.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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