how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
