try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
