The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
