yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
