ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
