Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
