How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
