Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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