IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize