ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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