It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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