Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
