thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i've created a new STD.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
