I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
