Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
