Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize