maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
