Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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