I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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