People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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