on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
