i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
