Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
