Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
