whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
