Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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