We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
