Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
