If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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