You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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