First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
