Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
