Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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