I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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