And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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