We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
