hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
