Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
