we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
