Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
