4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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