I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize