She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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