so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I sprained my soul last night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
