my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
