matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
