It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
