I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
