I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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