I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
