Don't make out with my wife yet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
