The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
