I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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