with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
