Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
