ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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