I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
