There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
