What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
